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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
May 20, 2012
Tomb World by ~dull-glitter Suggester Writes: I love the sharp, brutally honest quality of Tomb World. It's a poem that leaves echoes in your mind.
Literature Text
buy the war bonds to my body
buy tickets to the air raid of my soul
trenches on my wrists
fight the somme across my stomach
machine gun pock marks
bombs, my flesh shakes
no land,
only lines to cross
and three miles of blood and barbed wire marshes
protect the soldiers
but there are no defenses
the western front is failing
TO ARMS!
shells that are empty
(I am empty)
the skies
(my eyes)
lighting up with flares
there's only smoke left
up there
(clouds my mind)
we left our masks behind and now we'll all go blind
packed in here, piled in
like cattle
like corpses
where is the axis?
we've been in here three days.
is there still a sky?
we've been in here a hundred years.
are we all dead?
are we blast shadows on the wall?
the war is over
but the trenches are deep
(trenches are deep)
(trenches are deep)
buy tickets to the air raid of my soul
trenches on my wrists
fight the somme across my stomach
machine gun pock marks
bombs, my flesh shakes
no land,
only lines to cross
and three miles of blood and barbed wire marshes
protect the soldiers
but there are no defenses
the western front is failing
TO ARMS!
shells that are empty
(I am empty)
the skies
(my eyes)
lighting up with flares
there's only smoke left
up there
(clouds my mind)
we left our masks behind and now we'll all go blind
packed in here, piled in
like cattle
like corpses
where is the axis?
we've been in here three days.
is there still a sky?
we've been in here a hundred years.
are we all dead?
are we blast shadows on the wall?
the war is over
but the trenches are deep
(trenches are deep)
(trenches are deep)
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Mechanical Death
Even mechanical things can live.
It stirred, steel tendons and synthetic muscles twanging like sad music in the cold silent dark. In turn, the dark hissed back, a noiseless sound from the furthest depths of blackest space. The thing with the tendons of steel and the skinless hide glistening with oil twitched and spasmed and trembled, the mess of electric synapses it called a mind confused by the notion of life.
It felt. And what it felt confused it, for it had never felt before and it did not know what it was to feel. It felt cold and hot at the same time, two extremes of temperature that at a point became inseparable with each other. It fe
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She said create the world, so I did. I made it dark and dusty, coughed up from my own black lungs. I gave the trees an ashen hue and the ground a color to match the starless sky. The creatures were murmuring oozes, globs of drying acrylic that inked across the orb of my bubbling imagination.
Repulsing, it was in fact the product of an industrial mind. I was born from man's smog goddess and, if memory serves me, her breath was laced in exhaust which I inhaled nightly with her songs. She was soothing and complacent, her voice smokey like a hazy bar. No one could deny her features were hideous beyond belief. Her skin dripped pollution like morp
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Footnote To The Apocalypse
The day after the apocalypse, I read.
I find a bookshop, one of the only buildings that hasn't been destroyed by the blast. The door is locked, but the front window has a hole in it , and my shirt-wrapped fingers manage to break away enough of the splinters to create some sort of entrance. For the first time in my life, I am thankful for being small.
My hands are bleeding when I get inside. My shoulder is too - there's a sliver of glass buried in it too deep to dig out - and the gashes on my chest have opened up again, but there isn't much I can do about those. I don't want to bleed on the books, that's all.
I don't have any bandages, so
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Feedback questions:
1) Favorite part?
2) How is the flow?
3) Any awkward or cliche lines?
Critique for
[link]
EDIT: OH WOW, a DD! I don't even know what to say... I'm extremely honored! Thank you
for the suggestion and 
for the feature!
EDIT 2: MY friend
drew some amazing art to go along with the poem:
Lighting Up With Flares [link]
1) Favorite part?
2) How is the flow?
3) Any awkward or cliche lines?
Critique for
[link]EDIT: OH WOW, a DD! I don't even know what to say... I'm extremely honored! Thank you
for the suggestion and for the feature!EDIT 2: MY friend
drew some amazing art to go along with the poem: Lighting Up With Flares [link]
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Comments61
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The imagery, just grand.